Author Topic: April 2009 - Jokes, gags and funny balloon business  (Read 4477 times)

Danny the Idiot

  • FiveStars
  • *****
  • Posts: 1921
    • View Profile
    • http://www.dannytheidiot.com
April 2009 - Jokes, gags and funny balloon business
« on: March 24, 2009, 10:19:27 AM »
Lets get down to some serious fun.

Become an April Fool and tell us your balloon related jokes, gags and funny balloon business.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Guest »
Danny Schlesinger
Balloon Excellence Award Winner
http://http://www.CircoRidiculoso.com
http://http://www.DannyTheIdiot.com
Follow me on Twitter at @danny_the_idiot

Danny the Idiot

  • FiveStars
  • *****
  • Posts: 1921
    • View Profile
    • http://www.dannytheidiot.com
Re: April 2009 - Jokes, gags and funny balloon business
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2009, 10:31:55 AM »
Three balloons, Daddy balloon, mummy balloon and baby balloon.

Daddy balloon said to baby balloon, "look son, you are much to old to sleep with mummy and daddy, you will have to sleep in you're own bed." Baby balloon protests, "I like sleeping with you and mummy". "No you are not sleeping with us and thats final". "Ok" said baby balloon sadly.

Two in the morning baby balloon wakes up and decides to climb into bed with mummy and daddy. He finds there is no room, so he unties his dads knot and lets out some air, and ties him up again. Still no room, so he unties his mummys knot, also lets some air out and ties her up again. He still can't get in, so he unties his own knot, lets out some air, and ties himself up again, he finally has room, and snuggles down with mummy and daddy.

The next day they all wake, and daddy balloon is really angry. He said "Son, I am really disappointed with you, I said you can't sleep with us. You've let me down, your mummy down, and yourself down too."
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Guest »
Danny Schlesinger
Balloon Excellence Award Winner
http://http://www.CircoRidiculoso.com
http://http://www.DannyTheIdiot.com
Follow me on Twitter at @danny_the_idiot

Danny the Idiot

  • FiveStars
  • *****
  • Posts: 1921
    • View Profile
    • http://www.dannytheidiot.com
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Guest »
Danny Schlesinger
Balloon Excellence Award Winner
http://http://www.CircoRidiculoso.com
http://http://www.DannyTheIdiot.com
Follow me on Twitter at @danny_the_idiot

Danny the Idiot

  • FiveStars
  • *****
  • Posts: 1921
    • View Profile
    • http://www.dannytheidiot.com
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Guest »
Danny Schlesinger
Balloon Excellence Award Winner
http://http://www.CircoRidiculoso.com
http://http://www.DannyTheIdiot.com
Follow me on Twitter at @danny_the_idiot

Danny the Idiot

  • FiveStars
  • *****
  • Posts: 1921
    • View Profile
    • http://www.dannytheidiot.com
Re: April 2009 - Jokes, gags and funny balloon business
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2009, 11:51:03 AM »
* BUMP*

Am I the only funny one here?  :P

Have I chosen a duff subject for this month?

Please post your balloon related stories, gags and jokes.

cheers
Danny  ;)
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Guest »
Danny Schlesinger
Balloon Excellence Award Winner
http://http://www.CircoRidiculoso.com
http://http://www.DannyTheIdiot.com
Follow me on Twitter at @danny_the_idiot

magicadie

  • ThreeStars
  • ***
  • Posts: 232
    • View Profile
    • http://www.adiemagic.co.uk
Re: April 2009 - Jokes, gags and funny balloon business
« Reply #5 on: April 21, 2009, 12:46:16 AM »
You dont want me to take the lime light again do you Danny.

You know how funny i am!
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Guest »

Graham Lee

  • FiveStars
  • *****
  • Posts: 25671
    • View Profile
    • http://www.grahamleesmagic.co.uk/
Re: April 2009 - Jokes, gags and funny balloon business
« Reply #6 on: April 21, 2009, 12:59:38 AM »
Good idea, could you please show us how funny you are!! We'd all like to know :D
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Guest »
"Lets Improve Our Art"
Balloon Excellence 2012 Award Winner
For Services to the Balloon Community.
http://www.balloonartwholesale.co.uk
http://www.sempertexballoons.co.uk

fairby

  • ThreeStars
  • ***
  • Posts: 449
    • View Profile
    • http://www.twistedfairby.co.uk/
Re: April 2009 - Jokes, gags and funny balloon business
« Reply #7 on: April 21, 2009, 09:59:27 AM »
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Guest »

Smiggle

  • FourStars
  • ****
  • Posts: 767
    • View Profile
Re: April 2009 - Jokes, gags and funny balloon business
« Reply #8 on: April 21, 2009, 04:20:45 PM »
In line work I always try and do some corny stuff related to the colour of the balloon I'm using.

Orange - I used to work in an orange juice factory  but I couldn't concentrate

Red - this balloon used to work in a library because it's well red

Yellow - WOW - thats what you call a banananananarama

Green - I think this balloon has gone mouldy

Any colour (except blue) lets have a blue balloon - when they say it's not blue do the 'OH YES IT IS' bit with them until you say I know it's blue because I Just blew it up - I know it's old but it still works
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Guest »
C\'mon Let\'s twist again...

Dillingerentertains

  • ThreeStars
  • ***
  • Posts: 413
    • View Profile
    • http://www.dillingerentertains.com
Re: April 2009 - Jokes, gags and funny balloon business
« Reply #9 on: April 21, 2009, 10:59:06 PM »
how about these for a giggle  :lol:

there's a new alarm clock for vain twisters it doesn't ring it applauds

how do twisters improve the taste of salt they sprinkle it on chips

(as a warning) - hocus pocus balloons can choke us

there not going to make balloons any longer because there long enough all ready

what noise dose a twisters breakfast cereal make snap crackle & POP

why do twisters cover there mouths with their hand when they sneeze to catch there false teeth

what do you get if you cross a
sheep dog & bunch of daisies -- a collie flowers
centipede with a parrot -- a walkie-talkie
cow & a camel -- lumpy milk shake

six twisters standing under an umbrella which one got wet
none it wasn't raining

how many stones can you put in an empty  balloon hat one after that its not empty

what dose a twister say to improve his eye sight hocus focus

twister - my owl died of flu -- it flew into a car

what's the difference between a rabbit that jogs & an eccentric twister ones a fit bunny the other is a bit funny
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Guest »
http://www.dillingerentertains.com/

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOUR HEART IS LOOK TO WHERE YOU MIND GO’S WHEN IT WANDER’S

Graham Lee

  • FiveStars
  • *****
  • Posts: 25671
    • View Profile
    • http://www.grahamleesmagic.co.uk/
Re: April 2009 - Jokes, gags and funny balloon business
« Reply #10 on: April 21, 2009, 11:11:46 PM »
Quote from: "Dillinger"

there not going to make balloons any longer because there long enough all ready
twister - my owl died of flu -- it flew into a car
[/b]

Dillinger, the first gag is really funny and I'll definately use it and the second one I'll change around to use with my Doves.

I used to tell the gag that my dove was upset'
he'd just come back from the vet where he had been told that he had got a terrible disease...........pigeon toe'd
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Guest »
"Lets Improve Our Art"
Balloon Excellence 2012 Award Winner
For Services to the Balloon Community.
http://www.balloonartwholesale.co.uk
http://www.sempertexballoons.co.uk

Dillingerentertains

  • ThreeStars
  • ***
  • Posts: 413
    • View Profile
    • http://www.dillingerentertains.com
Re: April 2009 - Jokes, gags and funny balloon business
« Reply #11 on: April 21, 2009, 11:36:34 PM »
Quote from: Graham Lee
Quote from: Dillinger

 the second one I'll change around to use with my Doves.
[/

I think every one should do that so it fits there style & personality

                                                DENNIS
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Guest »
http://www.dillingerentertains.com/

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOUR HEART IS LOOK TO WHERE YOU MIND GO’S WHEN IT WANDER’S

Bad to the Balloon

  • TwoStars
  • **
  • Posts: 178
    • View Profile
Re: April 2009 - Jokes, gags and funny balloon business
« Reply #12 on: April 22, 2009, 02:04:34 AM »
How Did you get started in balloons?
I was bitten by a radioactive balloon animal....

How many do you pop?
Ooooh, I don't count those.

What is the hardest thing you have ever made?
Money!
Or a turtle..... main because of the shell.


I bet your kids love you?
Why do yours hate you?

Make me a penis!!
Why you missing one?
Or I think your doing a good job already.


I want the biggest thing you can do!
I want to date Angela Jolen, we always don't get what we want.

What can you make?
Anything ... within taste & reason
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Guest »
Mark Byrne
AKA Mark the Balloon Guy
Tampa Bay\'s The”Original” Balloon Guy for over 20 years
"Bad to the Balloon"
http://www.balloonguy.net
http://www.youtube.com/theballoonguy
http://www.myspace.com/markballoonguy

Emazdad

  • TwoStars
  • **
  • Posts: 159
    • View Profile
    • http://www.emazdad.co.uk
Re: April 2009 - Jokes, gags and funny balloon business
« Reply #13 on: April 22, 2009, 11:15:44 AM »
One gag I use when I make a girl a model with a heart is to say something along the lines of :-

I'm going to put a big love heart on this balloon because that boy there (I point to a nearby boy who I've judged up for a laugh or her brother, cousin etc) saw me earlier today and said if I was going to make you a balloon I had to put a big heart on it from him because he really loves you.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Guest »
Yours Funfully
Clive
http://www.emazdad.co.uk

Dillingerentertains

  • ThreeStars
  • ***
  • Posts: 413
    • View Profile
    • http://www.dillingerentertains.com
Re: April 2009 - Jokes, gags and funny balloon business
« Reply #14 on: July 25, 2009, 02:32:38 AM »
i thought this was funny

A man dies and goes to Heaven, where he finds he is third in line at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter is taking a much-needed break, so an angel is admitting the newly arrived to Heaven.
Each person is required to state his former occupation and tell his or her yearly salary.
The first man in line says, "I was an actor, and I earned £1 million last year."
The angel says, "Okay, you may enter."
He turns to the woman in line and asks her about her life.
She states, "I earned £150,000 a year as an attorney."
The angel thinks for a moment and then lets her in, too.
He turns to the third one in line and asks, "What have you done with your life?"
The man replies, "I earned £8,000 last year."
"Oh," the angel interrupts, "what kind of magic do you do?"
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Guest »
http://www.dillingerentertains.com/

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOUR HEART IS LOOK TO WHERE YOU MIND GO’S WHEN IT WANDER’S